I can see you changing, little man.
Each day you are full of new wonders and discoveries.
A smile,
A laugh,
A look of recognition.
These milestones both break and warm my heart
As I realize there are so many moments now past.
They are recorded in a baby blue book full of your pictures
In an attempt to preserve their freshness.

I have to remember to keep looking forward.
There’s so much to see, so much to miss if
I’m not here, fully, with you in the present.

You enchant me, little man.
Staring into your bright blue eyes
Calms my impatient soul.
Hours pass in mere minutes.
You’ve taught me to be still, and to revel in it.
For time is much more fleeting than I ever knew,
Now documented in inches and pounds.
They seem to pass faster than days.

In this stillness, I try to will time to stop
So we can stay together.
I know it is futile; I’m simply not ready to let go.

Something wants to leap out of my heart,
yet I am not knowing what it is.
It is pure, powerful, and has always been present
especially on this night
at this time
staring up at this sky.

I am left feeling small, feeling overwhelmed
feeling moved, feeling significantly insignificant
in this great world that is longing for what is in my heart.
For it’s purity
for it’s power
for it’s omnipresence, it’s connectedness.

Maybe it is this night, and this night only
that I seek it
that I glimpse it
that I realize it is a vision inside me.
I have been searching in the wrong places with the wrong eyes
afraid to open my heart, that it may leap out and be gone,
leaving this shell without feeling, without purpose however unknown.
powerless.

Oh if that were true, yet I know it cannot be.
I cannot wait another year, far too many are now passed
and with each it takes longer to find.

Oh, that it may live in my heart forever
radiating purely,
powerfully,
purposefully.
Christmas, the miracle of birth
of Hope
of Love
of Salvation.
Open my heart, my eyes
Unlock my passion, my purpose
That I may share it with the world all year long.

I feel the rhythmic beat of my heart
counting the seconds until your arrival.

I can see you in there,
kicking, stretching, pushing against
the boundaries of your world…

Soon, little man, there will be a
great big world for you to discover.
It needs you to push against your boundaries too.

It’s beautiful, scary, and amazing
all at once, but don’t worry
I’ll be your guide.
We will explore it together.

You’ll learn to create, to share, to give.

To Love.

I Love You.

And until we meet face to face
I’ll keep counting heartbeats
and dreaming of you.

I wrote this last night while watching my beautiful pregnant wife sleeping.

I Love You Casey

For my Casey on Valentine’s Day

A portrait of a sunset
seen in the iris of your eyes
gentle, breathtaking, calming my spirit
with amber hues speaking directly
into my consciousness
subduing wild instincts
with compassion and stopping time
with a mischievous blink,
for the sun will not set
as long as we are visitors in Eternity, its canvas
preserved in your gaze
allowing my presence
as long as I marvel at the beauty within
and forget the world around me,
illustrating my meaning
as your paintings interpret me